Messy sex and douching OK so anal sex can sometimes get a little messy. It’s a fact but it's perfectly natural and it has probably happened to all of us one time or another. Because of the nature of gay sex, getting a little surprise at the tip of your cock is sometimes inevitable but there are a few ways that you can prevent such 'accidents' from happening. DouchingA healthy rectum usually only contains shit when the bowel is full so there is little need to wash it out. If you feel better doing this, or if you are embarking on 'deep arse play' (e.g. fisting) then you may want to douche. We recommend that you only ever use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. However, douching (even just with water) can irritate the lining of the arse, making it more vulnerable to infections, including HIV . You do not need antiseptics, disinfectants or anything else in a douche, as they can all irritate the lining of the arse even more. Although, it is not recommended to use douches that attach to the shower (or unscrewing the shower head and using the shower hose), many men do so anyway. If you do this, it's important to keep in mind that there's variable water pressure and heat coming out of the shower and that you will not always be able to control the amount of water that goes in your arse. If you do want to douche then use the small bulb douche (some men use these to squirt lube up their arse) or the gravity fed bags. You can buy over the counter douches that usually contain 'additions' to help with things like constipation. Throw the additions away and rinse out the tube/bulb before you douche. When douching, it often takes some time before your arse expels all the water out. If you are planning on getting fucked, make sure you douche at least an hour or so before taking a cock because you may need to return to the toilet a few times to get all the water out. Taking a dumpThere will only be shit in the anal canal if you need to take a shit. When anything goes into your arse (a cock, dildo, finger) it triggers the same in-built sensory response that occurs when you need to take a shit. This is because the anal canal is full, so the brain reacts as if the rectum is full of shit, even when it is not. Once you are used to this feeling it becomes less of a worry but it can help if you clear the passageways (take a dump) before having sex. Try not to force it – if you need to go, you'll know. If you get this sensation when a cock is going in your arse, relax and remind yourself that it's OK – your arse is full, but only with cock. If you do get some shit on your cock, or if you are the one getting fucked and some shit gets on your partner's cock, don't freak out - it's natural, so just go to the bathroom and clean it up. Sometimes, it can be an embarrassing experience which can kill the mood, so try making a joke about it and if you are the top, try to show some understanding. Wearing a condomWearing a condom is not only done to prevent STIs and HIV. Some men also use condoms for hygiene purposes, even if they are in sero-concordant relationships. If you feel that your bowels are not completely empty but you still want to get fucked, getting your partner to wear a condom will help him to avoid getting shit on his knob. If an accident does occur, he can simply remove the condom and throw it away. BACK TO SEX PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS BETTER SEX HOW RISKY IS...? References Read more 1 Carballo-Dieguez A, Bauermeister JA, Ventuneac A, Dolezal C, Balan I, Remien RH. The use of rectal douches among HIV-uninfected and infected men who have unprotected receptive anal intercourse: implications for rectal microbicides. AIDS and Behavior, 2008;12(6):860-866.