Magazine FS magazine FS Mag Sex What's your fetish? Words by Liam Murphy @LiamwaterlooPhotography by Chris Jepson: © www.chrisjepson.com | @chrisjepson QUICK LINKS: WHAT YOU INTO? - THE SURVEY RESULTS | FETISH FOR BAREBACKING Fetishes come in all shapes and sizes – particularly if your fetish happens to be for sex toys – and extends far beyond the 50 Shades-style bondage which people assume ‘fetish’ entails. In fact, you can fetishize anything; leather, feet, armpits, cum, uniforms, group sex, watersports, muscled men dressed up as Thor. The list is limitless. For example, my fetish is writing articles about fetishes. In fact, I’m so into it, I wrote this whole thing with my penis*. *NOTE FROM FS’ LAWYER: Liam did not write this article with his penis. FS maintains professional codes of conduct in the workplace, which includes no sex acts on the premises. Apart from when interviewing new writing staff.A MILD FETISH Most people think of fetish and immediately conjure images of a man in a gimp mask, ball-gagged, strapped to a table being flogged by a big muscle bear with nipple piercings and a harness (don’t worry, we’ll get to that a bit later), but fetish doesn’t always have to be so ‘hardcore’. “I really like feet,” explains John, 27. “It started when I was younger. I used to remember seeing guys at school getting changed and I liked seeing what their feet looked like. It wasn’t even specifically sexual at first; I was only about eight-years-old!” It was only when he entered his teen years that John’s ‘fetish’ took a jump to the next level. “Eventually when I was about 15, me and my best mate were drunk and I ‘lost a bet’, so had to give him a foot massage. After a few more drinks I sucked his toes and I’ve been into it ever since. I’m pretty submissive in bed and it stems from my fetish. I love to massage a guy’s feet, suck his toes and lick every inch of them. It’s hot when I’m lying down and they’re sitting, pressing them into my face. My dick never comes into it that much; it’s like a precursor to sex rather then an alternative. Then I’d blow him, bend over and let him fuck me.” John isn’t the only one whose sexual Achilles heel is feet. In fact, the majority of people contacted for this article had a thing for a foot. “My fetish kicked in during my 30s,” 36-year-old Steven tells us. “My first time happened in a public toilet. A guy was wearing flip flops and I reached under the cubicle and started rubbing his feet. He must have cottoned on quick what I wanted as he put his foot under. I was so nervous he would kick me or that it was just initiating something more, but I continued and it was great. He let me carry on till I’d had an orgasm and it was a fantastic feeling. I think my ultimate foot fetish fantasy would involve a group of masculine blokes, bi or straight, and I would be made to worship their feet while they’re watching football.” Bryan, 45, enjoys a brief encounter. “Men’s underwear, pants and jockstraps really get me going. I grew up with three older brothers and I happened across their underwear in the laundry basket, and something compelled me to pick them up and smell them. It’s the smell that I really like – someone who has been wearing them all day and has a sweaty and piss-stained scent.” “The smell of sweaty armpits is my main fetish,” confesses 35-year-old Grant. “I love meeting a shag off Gaydar who has just showered but doesn’t wear deodorant, so that the hot car journey over to mine has helped him ripen up again. I get off on being able to lick and sniff a man who has been working hard in manual labour or been to the gym, going from kissing his pits to kissing him and back to his pits, breathing him in, and him loving every minute of it.” TO THE MEDIUM Now it’s time to walk away from feet, pull up our pants, step this fetish thing up a notch and get right in your face. “I love facials,” admits 26-year-old Anthony. “The guy I was seeing at the time had done some porn and I told him to cum on my face when we were having sex, like he did in a film he was in. He did and I loved it. I’ve never felt any shame about the act of doing it; it’s just a bit difficult asking new partners to do it.” For Paul, 31, it’s more about the taste than the texture. “My fetish is swallowing cum. I got into it with my first boyfriend and the first ever blow job I gave him. It was the thought and anticipation of him blowing his load in my mouth – I found it thrilling. I guess my fetish has grown a bit because now my ultimate fantasy would involve a huge group of guys – a gangbang situation – and swallowing all their loads.” How risky is cum play? Facials: HIV will die soon after it’s exposed to air so if you are into cum splatting all over your face or body then the risk is low. Felching: Sucking your own cum out of someone’s arse, even if the person is HIV-positive, carries minimal risk for HIV. You can however pick up other STIs including hep A and bacterial stomach infections. Swallowing: If you like getting cum in your mouth, make sure you have healthy gums and avoid brushing your teeth at least an hour before sex. That reduces the risk of HIV getting into your bloodstream if it gets in your mouth. Watersports is also a popular fetish theme for some of you, and we’re not talking about jet skiing. Obviously. Take your obvious jokes elsewhere. “My fetish for piss started online,” explains Lloyd, 31. “I was on a sex chat roulette website and a guy in America told me to get in the bath and piss on myself while I wanked. I did it and it was so fucking hot I came almost immediately – so did he.” Something 32-year-old Andrew agrees with: “The first time I tried it was the hottest sex of my life! My ultimate fantasy would involve me being tied up in a shower while getting pissed on by a football team or something.” How risky is watersports? Pissing on someone carries no risk of HIV as urine doesn’t contain infectious HIV. There’s no risk at all from pissing on healthy, unbroken skin but there is a risk of other infections, such as CMV (a virus in the herpes family) or salmonella if it gets in the mouth or eyes. These infections may be more serious for HIV-positive people. HARD STUFF There are some who like to go hardcore with their fetishes, where pain has equal billing with pleasure. Would you have the balls to give it a go? “I’m into ball stretching,” states Rick, 37. “I use silicone ball stretchers. I tried them on my own at first, just for a wank, and the effect was amazing. My balls bounced off my gooch (the ‘gooch’ is the perineum, the area between your balls and your ass – Ed) area, which was a whole new experience for me. Plus I really had to work hard for my orgasm, but when it came it was epic. I like to top doggy-style while wearing them as my balls can also bounce off the other guy’s gooch for improved sensations all round.” 23-year-old Dylan told us about his hardcore fetish – his penchant for fisting. “I remember stumbling across it in a porn movie and being shocked by it, but I watched more and more, and eventually I wanted to try it. I hooked up with a guy – who incidentally turned out to be a porn star in a movie I’d actually watched – and he showed me the ropes. It was one of the most fulfilling sexual experiences I’ve ever had. I love being elbow deep in a guy as he makes eye contact, and if someone is rimming or fingering me from behind.” How risky is fisting? There’s a risk of HIV if the fister has cuts or sores on his hand or wrist. If the guy getting fisted is HIV-positive, HIV in his anal mucus (the stuff that lines the arse) or any blood inside could get into the bloodstream of the fister. If the fister has HIV, infected blood from the cuts could be absorbed into the bloodstream of the guy getting fisted through the lining of his arse. If more than one person is being fisted in group sex, HIV or hep C could be passed from one to another, via anal mucus or blood carried on the fist. “I like to be strangled because it makes me cum really hard,” says Chris, 36. “I met this guy on Grindr and I went to the toilets at his work for a wank at lunch. He put his hand around my neck as he was wanking me off. That night I went home and did the same to my boyfriend. I like having a hand around my neck while I’m being fucked. You just have to trust the guy you’re with.” Considered a ‘classic’ of the fetish world, bondage is a clear favourite for many. “I think my love of bondage stemmed from my teenage years,” explains 35-year-old Joe. “I remember watching Flash Gordon and he was bound up and wearing tiny leather shorts and it sparked something in me! I love being bound, gagged, forced to suck cock and fucked.” How risky is bondage? There’s little to no risk of HIV or STIs with bondage. Be aware of physical harms, e.g. if the ropes are too tight. Make sure you trust the person you’re with and set boundaries beforehand. Introduce a ‘safe word’ so you can stop at any time. Callum, 30, has a similar domination/submission fantasy. “When I was 19, I slept with an older Middle Eastern man who got me to call him ‘daddy’. He really got me into dom-sub role play and giant, mature muscle tops.” FETISH RISKS “Fetish covers a broad spectrum of different practices,” says gay men’s health charity GMFA’s CEO, Matthew Hodson, “so you can’t generalise and say ‘fetishes are risky’ or ‘fetishes are not risky’. “Many fetishes are much safer than ‘conventional’ sex, in terms of HIV transmission risk, because the fetish doesn’t necessarily involve any body fluids. Any fetish that’s about dressing up, for example, is in and of itself, safe – but that doesn’t mean to say that people don’t also take risks when they dress up. Some fetishes, such as bondage, also don’t carry an intrinsic risk, but because you’re abdicating control you need to be sure that you can trust the guy you’re with. Of course it’s not just HIV risk which needs to be considered. Scat, for example, probably doesn’t carry much risk of HIV transmission but the risk of hepatitis A, or any number of gut infections, is high. “Obviously barebacking or ‘breeding’ as a fetish is a high risk activity but really, if someone actually wants to get HIV (and that suggests a whole heap of problems), it’s not that difficult and it’s the kind of thing that can only happen to an individual once. When you’ve got HIV you’ve got it for always.” Whether you’re into fists, feet, fucking, facials or felching, enjoy your fetish, don’t be ashamed of it and do it the safest and most enjoyable way you can. Now, I have to go. Writing this has given me a raging boner (this joke only works if you read the first paragraph). Useful links: Know what’s hot and what’s not. Visit GMFA’s ‘How risky is’ section at www.gmfa.org.uk/how-risky-is. How to get fucked: www.gmfa.org.uk/how-to-get-fucked. How to fuck: www.gmfa.org.uk/how-to-fuck Pain while getting fucked: www.gmfa.org.uk/pain-when-getting-fucked Messy sex and douching: www.gmfa.org.uk/messy-sex-and-douching. Condoms and lube: www.gmfa.org.uk/condoms-and-lube. Know your arse for better sex: www.gmfa.org.uk/know-your-arse-for-better-sex To buy cheap condoms and lube, visit the Freedoms shop at: www.freedoms-shop.com. What you into? As part of this feature we asked our readers via Facebook and Twitter to fill in a survey called ‘what’s your fetish’. And as we have a fetish for surveys, just for fun, we thought we’d share the results with you. 221 gay men told us the following: We listed a range of common fetishes that we found on a very popular gay porn site and asked if you would be willing to do any of them if asked. Or do you already do them? These were the results: I’d give it a go Bukakke – 54% Uniforms – 45% Trainers/trackies – 42% Domination/sub – 38% Muscle worship – 38% Bondage – 35% Watersports – 35% Cum play – 34% Spanking – 33% Threesomes/group sex – 29% Rubber/latex/leather – 26% Pup play – 21% Foot worship – 19% Barebacking – 14% Sounding – 11% Asphyxiation – 9% Fisting – 9% Cross-dressing – 2% Scat – 0% I’d never try it: Scat – 87% Cross-dressing – 72% Asphyxiation – 70% Sounding – 56% Fisting – 47% Pup play – 25% Foot worship – 25% Watersports – 20% Barebacking – 19% Bukakke – 15% Cum play – 12% Rubber/latex/leather – 12% Trainers/trackies – 9% Spanking – 7% Bondage – 7% Muscle worship – 5% Domination/sub – 5% Uniforms – 3% Threesomes/group sex – 0% I already do this: Threesomes/group sex – 56% Barebacking – 46% Domination/sub – 36% Spanking – 35% Cum play – 35% Bondage – 31% Watersports – 28% Foot worship – 28% Muscle worship – 24% Rubber/latex/leather – 21% Fisting –20% Bukakke – 18% Uniforms – 16% Trainers/trackies – 16% Sounding – 13% Pup play – 10% Asphyxiation – 9% Scat – 7% Cross-dressing – 2% What do these results tell us? Well, first these results only reflect what 221 gay men told us via an online survey about fetishes so it probably doesn’t represent the general gay public. But there are some interesting stats that came from this. Barebacking: 46% of the gay men who responded to the survey say they already bareback, with 14% saying they’d do it and only 19% saying they’d never try it if asked. Group sex/threesomes: seem to be a big hit with 56% of gay men saying they already do this. 29% said they’d try it and no one ruled it out completely. Scat: This was a big no no for most of you with 87% saying they’d never try it, and nobody wants to give it a go if asked. Asphyxiation (breath play): Another big no result, though 9% said they already do this. Cross-dressing: Also a big turn-off for most of you. Only 2% said yes to that. Sounding: 56% would say no to sticking a rod down their cock. 13% already do it. Bukakke: Not that many have tried it, but 54% of you would try it if asked. Actually looking at the list, you’d be up for being covered in cum while wearing a uniform and trainers. Splat-tastic! No matter what sexual act you are doing, there’s a risk of getting an STI. HIV is considered the ‘big one’ because it’s incurable. Once you have it, you have it for life (the same for herpes). But there are many more STIs out there, some of which you can get from oral and anal sex. And none of them are nice to have to deal with. Here’s what you need to know about:Chlamydia Chlamydia is a bacterial infection. It is most commonly passed on by fucking or getting fucked without a condom, but it can also be passed on by sucking cock or rimming. Crabs Crabs are usually transferred during naked body contact (yes, we mean sex). Less often, they can be caught from infested bedding, clothes and towels. Gonorrhoea Gonorrhoea, or ‘the clap’, is a bacterial infection of the urethra (the tube you piss out of), arse, throat or eyes. It can be passed on by rimming, sucking cock, fucking or getting fucked without a condom. Hepatitis A Hepatitis A is found in shit and is acquired by getting shit in your mouth. This can happen through sex acts such as rimming or sucking someone’s cock after unprotected sex. Hepatitis B The hepatitis B virus is in blood, cum, piss, spit and shit, as well as other body fluids of a person who’s infected. The virus can be spread by sharing needles, sharing snorting straws, unprotected sex, or by getting blood or infected cum in your mouth, eyes, or on to broken skin. Hepatitis C The hepatitis C virus is present primarily in blood (including dried blood) and can also be present in cum. Traditionally injecting drug use was the most common way to catch hepatitis C but it is now known that unprotected sex, particularly high risk sex and group sex, is associated with hep C infection. In particular HIV-positive gay men are getting hepatitis C sexually. However, this does not mean HIV-negative guys are not at risk from unprotected sex or sharing sex toys. Herpes Herpes is a virus that is spread by skin to skin contact. There are two forms of herpes: HSV-1, which causes cold sores around the mouth, and HSV-2, or genital herpes, which leads to sores around the cock and arse. You can get herpes by kissing, sucking cock, rimming, fucking without condoms and even frottage! You can also get it by sharing sex toys. Cold sores on your mouth can be spread to another person’s cock or arse, and genital herpes can be spread to the mouth. Syphilis Syphilis is a bacterial infection which is most usually transmitted through fucking without a condom and cock-sucking, but which can also be caught through rimming, fisting and even through skin to skin contact (although this is rare). For more information on sex, sexual health and STIs, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/sex. FETISH FOR barebacking? According to our fetish survey, 46% already bareback while 14% said they’d try unprotected sex if asked. These figures may not be reflective of the general gay community but, still quite high. If your fetish is rubbing feet, dressing in combat gear or throwing custard pies then there’s no risk of STIs but if your fetish involves sharing body fluids then HIV and STIs are a major risk. In 2013, over 3,250 gay men were diagnosed HIV-positive in the UK. About 80% of new HIV infections come from having sex with men who don’t know they have HIV. About 16% of gay men who are HIV-positive don’t know they have it. How to prevent STIs and HIV Condoms: Using condoms while having sex is still one of the best ways to avoid picking up any STIs, becoming HIV-positive or passing on HIV. Make sure you use plenty of water-based lube too. Stay away from Vaseline and baby oil – they will make the condom rip. Cum outside: If you are someone who doesn’t use condoms and you’re a bottom then it will decrease the risk if he doesn’t cum inside you. However there is still HIV in pre-cum and he may blow his load before he has the chance to pull out, so this is still highly risky sex. If you are a top remember that HIV can be present in anal mucus (the stuff that lines the inside of the arse), so pulling out will not reduce the risk. HIV-positive: If you are HIV-positive, on medication and undetectable then the chances of passing on HIV are very low. However using condoms will further reduce the risk of passing on HIV and STIs. For more information, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/condoms-and-lube.PEP is a month-long course of HIV medication that can stop you becoming HIV-positive if taken within 72 hours after sex (the sooner you start taking it the better). If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, contact your local GUM clinic or go to an A&E. For more info on PEP, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/pep. Test for STIs: All sexually active gay men should test for STIs at least once a year. If you are having sex with new partners then you should test more frequently. Test for HIV too when you’re there. It takes about two weeks for most STIs and four weeks for HIV to show up in a test. For more information or to find your nearest GUM clinic, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/clinics. THIS ARTICLE WAS TAKEN FROM ISSUE #149.