By Liam Murphy @Liamwaterloo

We all care about penises. If we didn’t, this magazine wouldn’t exist for a start. When it comes to the subject of penis size however, opinion on how much this actually matters varies wildly from one cock-hungry homosexual to another. Some of us simply adore a massive meat mound, while others couldn’t give a toss. But can the size of your tonsil basher influence your position in the bedroom? Or club bathroom? Or gym steam room? Or... oh, you get the point. If you’re hung like a witch in Salem, then you’re obviously a top, right? What if your willy won’t wreak much havoc – does that make you a bottom? FS takes a peek in your pants, and your mind’s pants, to find out. 

“I’ve got a very thick cock – you can basically hide an iPhone behind it,” reveals 35-year-old Andrew. “I tend to be the top – I love it – but entry can be hard work, uncomfortable for the other guy until they’re used to it and, as a result, it’s all a bit frustrating for me. There’s a lot of ‘Ow! Ow! Ow! Slow down!’, which is a bit of a turn off and can kill my erection. Obviously foreplay helps, but not everyone likes that anally and I’ve found the mental side of things for the bottom makes things more complicated. Partners just tighten up in anticipation and that makes it harder to penetrate. Once it’s in and the guy is relaxed, normally sex is great, but I’ve had lots of experiences where we’ve not got that far because one or other of us gets frustrated or the moment goes.”                     

Andrew has been forced to explore other sides of his sexuality due to his size. “I’ve found that sometimes it’s just easier to bottom, it relieves the pressure of ‘performing’. I understand how it feels to be well-endowed. You’re worried that you might lose your erection, so you ram it in straight away to make sure you don’t. That doesn’t always work out for the guy on the receiving end.”

Not all well-endowed men have problems being received though, as 28-year-old Joshua explains. “I’m hung and I love it! And other guys seem to love it. I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, so I, to my shame, tend to hook up a lot online. I just state what I’m looking for on my profile, with a few pics of course, and the bottom guys flock to me. I’ve measured myself and I’m just over nine inches and a good thickness, and I rarely have trouble with people taking it. I always make sure the guy is a ‘proper’ bottom, in the sense that they genuinely love getting fucked.” Joshua doesn’t necessarily think his cock size has swayed his sexual position. “Having a big one does help, but even if I was smaller, I’d still be a top I think. I just love to fuck, and have never had any desire to be fucked really. Maybe it’s because of my stature – I’m quite tall and broad – that makes me naturally more dominant... I’m not sure.”

Sometimes having a big cock cannot only affect the type of sex you have but also the type of relationship you have. “I’m quite well-endowed,” says Paul, 31. “I’m so well-endowed that my husband can’t handle me. I’ve always been a top, but because he finds it so difficult to take, I’ve turned into the bottom. We love each other dearly, which is why we pursued the relationship despite the sex setback, but it does mean the nature of our relationship has changed. We had to open it up, mainly so I could be satisfied sexually too and be able to fuck other guys. We still love each other and are still together, it’s just my dick means we had to reassess what our partnership really meant.”

How does it feel for the guy on the pointy end of super-sized flesh cudgel? It’s a lot of trial and error according to 37-year-old Harry. “My boyfriend is very well-endowed and it’s also very thick. He’d only had girlfriends before he went out with me, and they’d always struggled to take it, and he just assumed this was normal. I thought it was such a turn on when I first saw it – the most attractive thing though was that he genuinely had no idea it was so big, as he’d never seen another man’s erect cock before in the flesh. When I mentioned it to him he was disbelieving – he said ‘but I’ve seen guys in porn and I’m only a bit bigger than them’, and I had to point out that they were a self-selecting group of people distinguished by their large cocks!”      

When it comes down to business, Harry and his boyfriend kept trying until they got it right. “While I don’t have any problems accommodating him in general when he fucks me, I’ve found that certain positions in sex are just a no go. He likes it when I sit on him, but I can’t usually tolerate more than a few minutes as it feels like I’m being repeatedly stabbed in the guts. If he fucks me doggy style, then I can feel it crashing into my prostate and while this can be nice, too much of it and it becomes acutely uncomfortable. The flip side of this is that when he fucks me when I’m lying on my front, the angle seems to be just right and it feels amazing, especially when he does it very hard. In fact, I get a strange tingling, shivering feeling all over my body that comes in waves and leaves me covered in goosebumps. I’ve never had this with anyone else I’ve slept with. To be honest, now I’m used it, he just shoves it in!”

When researching this article, it was astonishing how many men came forward to disclose their big cock ‘problem’, yet there were very few willing to talk if they considered themselves to have a smaller than average phallus. Being ‘small’ continues to be a source of shame for some guys, which Nicholas, 19, confirms. “I have a very small willy. I’ve measured it and it’s not big. I’m too embarrassed to say how big! I hate getting changed in front of other guys or even just being in my underwear. When I came out and started having sex, I just naturally assumed the bottom role, because I thought that no one would want to be fucked by me. I’m not complaining, it’s great, and I actually take a lot of power from being the bottom, I guess. I can’t control the size of my willy, but I can control how well I can take a guy’s cock. I guess my arse is my version of a big package.”

“I’d consider myself to have a smallish cock,” divulges 26-year-old Trey, “It’s about five inches erect. It really got me down for a while, but mainly because I was comparing myself to porn stars. I meet a lot of men who assume I’ll be the submissive/bottom guy because of my size (I’m only about 5’6” in height too) but I can handle myself in bed and I won’t just bend over because I’m meant to be embarrassed about the size of my cock. I’d say I’m versatile – which is the best way! – and I’ve been told I’m a great fuck when I top. It’s a cliché, but it really is what you do with it, not how big it is. I’m a champion top!”

However, not all guys are the ‘bottom twink with a small cock’ stereotype. “I’m a body builder and I’ll fully admit that my penis isn’t the biggest,” says Grant, 33. “When it comes to my torso, I’m not ashamed to show off, I’m massive! When it comes to my dick, yeah, I’m not as big. I’d say I’m smaller than average, and I’m basing that on the guys I’ve slept with. I’m a hardcore bottom, a power bottom I suppose, and I fucking love being that way. Because of my muscle mass, men get so surprised when they find out I’m a bottom. They assume because I could pin them down, I’ll be a top.” Grant doesn’t think that the size of his cock has had any influence over his sexual position. “No way has my dick guided me towards bottoming. I honestly just enjoy sex more that way. My size hasn’t stopped me topping and I’ve had plenty of men ask me to bang them, it’s just not for me.”

Sona Barbosa, the Counselling Coordinator at the GMI Partnership, believes that the size of a gay man’s phallus does have certain outcomes. “There’s a study, called ‘The Association between Penis Size and Sexual Health among Men Who Have Sex with Men’ from 2011, which looked at 1,065 gay men. The goal of the study was to understand the real individual-level consequences of living in a penis-centred society and it uncovered a few bombshells. Gay men who felt they had small or inadequate penis sizes were more likely to become ‘bottoms’, while gay men with larger penises were more likely to identify themselves as ‘tops’. Men with smaller penises were more likely to be psychologically troubled than those with larger genitalia, while men with larger penises were more likely to contract certain STIs. It also found that men with above average penises enjoyed more satisfaction with their lifestyle. With clients I see at GMI, the above seems to be true; there are also definitely issues of self-esteem and self-confidence in clients who report having a smaller penis; they seem to take more risks as the need to be accepted is paramount. If you’re feeling troubled by your size, whether it’s too small or too big, get in touch with us at GMI to talk about any concerns you may have, and any sexual health issues.” 

FS survey: how big is your penis?

Last month we asked how big your penis is. Over 650 of you told us. Here are the results:

How big is your penis? – when hard: (please round it off to the nearest inch)

4 inches or smaller  - 4.3%
5 inches  - 7.6%
6 inches  - 30.4%
7 inches  - 34.7%
8 inches  - 17.5%
9 inches  - 3.8%
10 inches and above - 1.0%
Not sure  - 1.6%

Do you think your penis is...

Big - 24%
Average - 64%
Small - 11%

When we broke down these results we found:

4 inches

Think they are big:              0%
Think they are average:      6%
Think they are small:          94%

5 inches

Think they are big:              0%
Think they are average:      49%
Think they are small:          51%

6 inches

Think they are big:              3%
Think they are average:      87%
Think they are small:          10%

7 inches

Think they are big:              24%
Think they are average:      74%
Think they are small:          2%

8 inches

Think they are big:              63%
Think they are average:      37%
Think they are small:          0%

9 inches

Think they are big:              82%
Think they are average:      18%
Think they are small:          0%

10 inches or more

Think they are big:              84%
Think they are average:      16%
Think they are small:          0%

Do you wish your penis was...

Bigger                                   47%
Smaller                                 0.6%
I'm happy with my penis       52%

When we broke this down:

4 inches

Wish it was bigger                   90%            
Wish it was smaller                 0%
Happy with their penis size      10%

5 inches

Wish it was bigger                    73%
Wish it was smaller                  0%
Happy with their penis size       27%

6 inches

Wish it was bigger                     63%
Wish it was smaller                   1%
Happy with their penis size        36%

7 inches

Wish it was bigger                      39%
Wish it was smaller                    1%
Happy with their penis size         60%

8 inches

Wish it was bigger                       22%
Wish it was smaller                     0%
Happy with their penis size          78%

9 inches

Wish it was bigger                        12%
Wish it was smaller                       4%
Happy with their penis size            84%

10 inches or more

Wish it was bigger                         34%
Wish it was smaller                       16%
Happy with their penis size            50%

What sexual position are you:

Always top                             12%
Mainly top                              23%
Versatile                                 36%
Mainly bottom                         20%
Always bottom                        5%
I don't have penetrative sex    4%

When we broke this down:

4 inches

Mainly bottom                         27%
Always bottom                        27%
Versatile                                 25%
I don't have penetrative sex    11%
Always top                                5%
Mainly top                                 5%

5 inches

Versatile                                    37%
I don't have penetrative sex       26%
Mainly top                                  11%
Mainly bottom                            10%
Always top                                  8%
Always bottom                            8%

6 inches

Versatile                                      40%
Mainly bottom                              25%
Mainly top                                    22%
Always top                                   7%
Always bottom                             3%
I don't have penetrative sex         3%

7 inches

Versatile                                       35%
Mainly top                                    25%
Mainly bottom                              21%
Always top                                   13%
Always bottom                             4%
I don't have penetrative sex         2%

8 inches

Versatile                                       38%
Mainly top                                     24%
Always top                                    18%
Mainly bottom                               15%
Always bottom                              4%
I don't have penetrative sex          1%

9 inches

Always top                                     29%
Mainly top                                      29%
Versatile                                         25%
Mainly bottom                                13%
Always bottom                                4%
I don't have penetrative sex            0%

10 inches or more

Versatile                                         50%
Always top                                      33%
I don't have penetrative sex            17%
Mainly top                                       0%
Mainly bottom                                 0%
Always bottom                                0%

So does size matter when it comes to sex? 

It’s clear from these results that the bigger your cock the more likely you are to be ‘top’. The smaller you are the more likely you are to be ‘bottom’ or ’versatile’. The average size of a penis in the UK is 5.5 inches. Studies show that to satisfy men during penetrative sex you need only 2.5 inches. This is because the male ‘G’ spot is located just at the top of the anal canal which is roughly 2 inches long. So you don’t need a big penis to hit his ‘G’ spot. Also the most sensitive part of the anus is the first centimetre or two. 

What does this all actually mean?

Is it coincidence that the men who claim to have 8 inches or more are more likely to be top or that the men with 6 inches or smaller are more likely to bottom? It seems to us that the men who filled in this survey are basing their sex lives on the size of their penis. Whether they realise it or not. 

Is this a problem?

No, not really, but you need to ask yourself if you are having the sex you really want or the sex you think you should have because of the size of your cock. If you are enjoying the sex you are having then keep at it. If you are not then it’s something to think about.

When it comes to HIV prevention is it better to be top or bottom?

The research shows us that men who bottom are more likely to become HIV-positive. This is because the lining of the arse acts like a hoover and sucks up HIV. So if you bottom and you allow someone to cum in your arse then the body absorbs the cum and anything that is in it. If you top, the chances of becoming positive are less but the risk is still fairly high. 

What if he pulls out?

This is a strategy that we have heard many times. Coming outside the body can reduce the risk of becoming positive but it’s not a strategy that should be taken lightly. There is HIV in pre-cum. HIV also exists in blood. Not to mention other STIs which can be passed on too. 

So what should I do?

Whether you’re top, bottom or both one of the best ways to stop HIV transmission is to use condoms while having sex. 

But my cock is too big/small to use condoms.

No it’s not! Condoms come in all sizes.

I still don’t use condoms.

Well that’s your choice and we can’t force you to use them during sex, but you need to understand that the more you have sex without condoms the greater chance you have of becoming positve or passing on HIV. Make sure you test regularly for HIV. If you become positive you will be put on medication and become less likely to pass on the infection to others. Visit to find your nearest GUM clinic. 

| To buy cheap condoms (that come in all sizes) and lube, visit 

Good sex advice from GMFA:

How to fuck –
How to get
Know your arse for better


This article was taken from FS magazine issue 139.

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