More info about counselling from PACE

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1. Gay men and mental health
2. Reasons to try counselling
3. What's counselling like?
4. What kind of service to PACE offer
5. Issues PACE can help with
6. Help with your sex life
7. How do I make contact with PACE
8. Other details about the service

Gay men and mental health

According to a world-wide survey, depression tops the list of health concerns for gay men. What's more, a study in America found that gay and bisexual men experience depression two and a half times more often in their lifetime than straight men.

So if you are feeling alone and isolated, lacking in energy or enthusiasm, unable to cope when things go wrong or just plain overwhelmed by your problems, then you are in good company. It happens … and perhaps you could use some help.

Reasons to try counselling

Let's say you are getting over a break-up, feeling unattractive, drinking over the odds and winding up night after night having risky sex with someone you don't even fancy in the sauna or on the common. Now you are not likely to want to chat about this with your Mum, or your GP, let alone your mates, are you?

What's counselling like?

The word "counselling" normally conjures up thoughts of traumatised train-crash survivors or well-meaning ladies in twin sets and pearls. In fact, it just boils down to talking to someone who really listens about whatever is on your mind - hopes, fears, dreams and sex. Especially sex.

What kind of service do PACE offer?

PACE offers a free, one-to-one, gay-staffed counselling service where men can talk through anything about their sex lives and relationships, whatever their HIV status. Some men opt for a one-off advice or information session, while others may have several sessions to give them enough time to explore their issues. Each session is by appointment and lasts for 50 minutes. The service is confidential, non-judgmental and open to all sections of the community. Low cost couples therapy offered and free couples therapy is now offered to couples who have become unemployed due to the recession. Contact Flavio on 020 7700 1323 for more info.

Issues PACE can help with

1. anxieties around sexually transmitted infections
2. establishing and maintaining safer sex boundaries
3. anxiety about HIV status and what practices are safe
4. negotiating with partners/ avoiding violence or coercion
5. cruising and 'heat of the moment' situations
6. coping with the impact of drugs and alcohol
7. exploring options for positive men
8. deciding to stop using condoms in longer-term relationships
9. the influence of sexual abuse or assault
10. sexual dysfunction
11. the particular challenges of coming out... being part of a couple... aging as a gay man

Help with your sex life

There are many reasons for being unhappy with your sex life - your sex drive is too low (or too high!), you worry too much about HIV, you have problems getting or keeping a hard-on, your partner is positive and you are untested, past sexual abuse affects your sex-drive or maybe you are unhappy with drugs, alcohol and the scene.

Another statistic - gay men with depression are almost nine times more likely than men without such feelings to have unprotected, receptive anal sex. That means that, not only can feeling low affect your thoughts and feelings, it can open you out to risky behaviour and endanger your physical health.

How do I make contact with PACE?

Phone the Sexual Health Counselling Service at PACE on 020 7700 1323 or 020 7697 0014 from 10am to 1pm and 2pm to 5pm, Monday to Wednesday.

You can give your details or just a name and contact number if you prefer. You will be placed on a waiting list and offered an appointment within six weeks (less if you can come during the daytime). As soon as an appointment becomes available, we will be back in touch.

One final statistic: 14% of Britons (1 in 5 of single people) have talked their problems over with a counsellor and 68% said it helped.*

Other details about the service

1. confidential
2. free of charge
3. fast track: appointments can normally be made at short notice
4. flexible: from one-off sessions to several appointments
5. open to all sections of the community and welcomes men from black, ethnic minority and religious communities; men of all ages and physical abilities, regardless of HIV status
6. offering individual and couple counselling

* Source: Britain Uncovered, 2001.

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